Snore and lose? Night-time concerts and how to survive them

Sound familiar? It's just past midnight, you've finally drifted off – and suddenly someone starts a motorbike right next to you. Not a real one, of course, just your favourite person, lying peacefully on their back and sounding as if they're sawing their way through half a forest. And the best part? The next morning they've no idea. "Me? Snore? Never!"

I'll admit, nights like that inspire some very creative thoughts. Most of them aren't fit for a family blog. So let's look at the whole thing calmly instead.

Why do we snore at all?

When we sleep, the muscles in the throat relax. The soft palate, the uvula and the tongue go soft as pudding, the airway narrows, and the air squeezing through sets everything fluttering. We all know the result. It's most likely when you're lying on your back, after one glass of wine too many, or when your nose has decided to clock off for the night.

When it gets serious

Before the tricks, one thing in all seriousness: if the snoring is regularly interrupted by pauses in breathing, if someone wakes up gasping for air or is tired all day, it's a job for a doctor. It can be sleep apnoea, and that can be treated well.

What helps – the snorer and you?

1. Roll onto your side. On your side, the tongue is less likely to slide back. The old trick of a tennis ball sewn into the back of a pyjama top sounds like torture, and it works, if you can put up with it.

2. Rethink the evening wine. Alcohol loosens up more than the conversation, it relaxes the throat muscles too. Less wine in the evening often means a quieter night.

3. Support the head and neck. A pillow that supports the neck instead of bending it keeps the airway clearer.

4. A clear nose. A warm bath, a bedroom that isn't too dry, and in spring perhaps a glance at the pollen forecast.

5. Earplugs for you. It sounds like surrender, but it's pure diplomacy.

Snoring is rarely deliberate and almost never a relationship drama, even if it feels exactly like one at two in the morning. With a few tricks, the concert usually turns into a gentle hum.

Or you can be a good sport about it: anyone who can saw that loudly all night at least has stamina.